Gender Relations

Gender speaks to the existence of people as males and females, masculine and feminine.  It is one of the most important factors in human relationships.  Unfortunately, our culture has long been confused over gender.  One news magazine in recent years even declared on its cover:  “Men and Women Really Are Different.”  That would seem obvious.  The reason why they felt the need to say it is a matter of history.

 

The Battle of the Sexes

 

It is an unfortunate truth that in many cultures throughout human history women have been devalued and even mistreated.  Our own country has a long tradition of addressing this undeniably legitimate complaint by women.  Among other advances, it won them the right to vote.  “Feminism” is the movement based on this complaint.

 

While few would deny that the basic cause or complaint of feminism is just, some solutions to the basic problem have been failures.  Especially, what has been called “gender feminism.”  Gender feminists demand that gender should have nothing to do with human relationships.  Especially they demand that all gender specific roles, like that of a husband being different from a wife, or of a father being different from a mother, should be thrown out.  The idea that men or women are better suited to certain roles, in this perspective, is called “sexism.” 

 

Archetypes and Stereotypes

 

How do people become what they are?  Where does personality come from?  In part, we are born with certain fixed characteristics—archetypes.  We all contain an element of ego, of concern for self, that owes itself to nothing more than meeting the challenges of survival.  Other characteristics are learned, passed on to emerging people from significant others or from the parent culture.  Gender feminism assumes that all gender traits are stereotypes, that gender starts with learning.  Moreover, it holds that what our culture traditionally has taught about gender has been developed by men as a way to disadvantage and abuse women.  Reflexively, any and every gender stereotype is challenged, resisted and overthrown everywhere possible.

 

Gender feminism has greatly influenced modern culture.  It has confused marital roles (husbands and wives), parental roles (fathers and mothers), and especially gender as it relates to roles of authority in society and in the church.  Mothers were encouraged to enter the traditionally male work place, perhaps even when it meant abandoning the womanly nurture of children (motherhood).  The husbands who left the workplace to attempt this mothering were called “Mr. Mom.”  All such roles involved stereotypes that, it was thought, should be thrown off and gender relations should be relearned.  Notice that the idea that gender can be learned or unlearned has made homosexuality the step-child of gender feminism.  Formerly, it was understood that males were to select females as mates.  But once gender was seen as an arbitrary stereotype, the choice of a mate also became arbitrary.  Some even try to change their physical gender through surgery.  Great effort was placed in reproductive medicine (birth control, abortion, etc.) to reduce or eliminate the role of gender in relationships.

 

It is not to be denied that some gender stereotypes are unnecessary, downright silly, and perhaps even served to disadvantage one gender before another.  Yet it must be admitted that even some of these were willing disadvantages, in which one gender willingly disadvantaged itself before the other as a gracious gesture.  For example, a woman would honor her husband by taking his name in marriage.  Or a husband would open doors, or show other courtesies for his wife.  Making such concessions promoted the greater good of neither the male nor the female; this was for the good of their union as a couple.

 

However, it cannot be denied that gender feminism has confused archetypes with stereotypes.  There are certain aspects of maleness and femaleness that are built-in—they cannot be denied without damage to self, relationships and society.  Gender feminism denies the undeniable, leading again to the breaking news story:  “Men and Women Really Are Different.”  Studies in human infants, before they can be tainted in any way by cultural imprinting of gender traits, show gender distinctiveness between baby girls and baby boys.  Attempts to imprint maleness on girls or to imprint femininity on boys diminishes rather than exalts essential personhood, and shows itself as a cruel enterprise.    

 

Gender traits that are archetypes involve much more than the genital and reproductive organs.  Science has identified many aspects of biology and physiology that show differences between men and women—brain structure, hormones, etc.  There are ways of socializing that are uniquely male or female.  Many books have been written in recent years that draw conclusions which modern feminism would eagerly reject even when the evidence goes against its dogmatic contentions.  Each gender is thus better suited to certain roles or functions.  The general truth of these distinctions is not to be denied, even if we admit a great deal of commonality in a shared humanity between men and women.  These are one species; not two (the differences are so stark as to allow John Gray to title his bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus).  And, the general truth is valid also even if we acknowledge that some men are more “manly” than others and that some women are more “womanly” than others.  While the magnitude of gender uniqueness varies between individual men and individual women, the fundamental distinction between male gender and female gender will still be there at the end of the day, a factor that stubbornly resists denial. 

 

While it might be wise, in some instances, to challenge gender stereotypes, it is foolish to defy aspects of gender that are built-in and are fundamental to our humanity.  We may even find them a cause for celebration.